Why Do You Call Me Luv?
by HughSoSexy
Summary: Chapter 6 is up! And due to an overwhelming response in favor of some smutastic times, it's rated M!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My original draft of this story contained only the very last part of dialogue. I've added a lot to this so I hope it all works.**

****Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I just love them so much I like to borrow them!**

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As Gillian Foster was walking toward the exit of The Lightman Group, she stopped dead in her tracks at the sound of Cal's voice.

"Oiy! What are you all dressed up for? You weren't wearing that earlier."

The new outfit was in fact a drastic change from the more casual black dress Gillian was wearing earlier. There was no doubting the black dress was quite flattering, but this outfit… Well this outfit seemed to hug her tighter. Better. Yes, this dress was definitely better than the black one. A woman was always more alluring in red. And the neckline was doing nothing to persuade Cal's eyes to look away. Not to mention those heels! _Where did those come from?_

"Really, Cal?"

This snapped Cal back to reality. He was unsure what her question was aimed at. Was it aimed at him soaking in every inch of her or at him questioning her getting dressed up in the first place?

"I just wanted to get dressed up. That's all." _Though I'm glad to see you noticed._

"Where you off to?"

A pause. Gillian wasn't entirely sure she wanted to tell him. She could use some time to think. After staring him down for a moment and deciding his company would be nice, she caved.

"One Eleven, if you must know," Gillian stated, standing a little taller.

"The new pub?" Cal inquired tilting his head to the side in confusion. _Why is she going to a pub alone? Maybe she's not going alone…_

"It is not a pub, Cal. It's a very nice restaurant with a bar inside. And I want a drink."

"Mind if I join you?"

Another pause, this one longer than the first. _Why is she just staring at me like that?_

Suddenly, Gillian turned on her heel and began to walk away without acknowledging Cal's last question. She took two steps, stopped, and turned to face him again.

He could see she was having some sort of strange internal debate. 'Mind if I join you?' seemed like a simple enough question to him.

"You can meet me there in half an hour."

At this, Cal was very confused. "It's right around the corner, luv."

"Yes, I know that, but you can't go there dressed like that. Go home and change. I'll see you in half an hour."

_Change? What's wrong with what I'm wearing? _Cal looked down at himself and examined his attire. _Whatever,_ he thought, _at least she didn't turn me down._

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_**30 minutes later...**_

After hurrying home to change into something along the same lines of formalness as Gillian's new dress, Cal walked into One Eleven and was quite impressed with the place. The walls were a nice shade of deep red with accents of browns and whites. It was nothing new, but not entirely similar to every other joint in town. It was elegantly decorated, chic even.

As he was taking in all his surroundings, he suddenly became very impressed at the sight of the bar. It was made entirely of a beautiful, dark wood and it appeared to have hand carvings on the front of it. Maybe that's why it held his attention. Or maybe it was the fact that one Gillian Foster was sitting at said bar. He hadn't really noticed the back of her dress earlier. It had a swooped back. Not too low, but low enough for Cal to be sure she wasn't wearing a bra. _That dress is quite uncharacteristically Gillian… _Something he did notice earlier, but he did not fail to notice again, was what those heels did to her legs. _She should wear heels like that more often._

Cal suddenly noticed a strong feeling in the pit of his stomach that left him longing to touch her back. Or run his hands up her legs. Or see what kind of perfume she was wearing. After only a few moments, Cal decided allowing these feelings to brew was unwise. It was at that point he noticed an untouched drink to Gillian's left and decided he'd stood in the middle of the restaurant for long enough. It was definitely time to sit down before he found the courage to act on that feeling in the pit of his stomach.

As he sat down, Gillian stared in her drink and didn't acknowledge the arrival of her business partner and best friend. Cal noted she had both hands wrapped around the drink, and he could see she was deep in thought about something. He looked at her with his head tilted to the side like he does when he's reading someone. He held his head in that same position and allowed his eyes to lazily wander down to the bar and the drink in front of him and away from her face before he finally brought his head back to center.

Neither one spoke for a moment. Then out of no where, Gillian broke the silence.

Breaking her gaze from her drink and looking straight ahead she asked, "Why do you call me 'luv'?" She had her eyes squinted slightly in curiosity.

Cal immediately looked at Gillian who still looked ahead and said, "I call a lot of people 'luv', luv."

"Mmm," she said smirking. "Mostly women."

Cal smiled at this. "Well, yeah. Can you imagine me calling Loker 'luv'? That'd be a bit awkward, don't you think?"

"I suppose," she laughed. _That's a very unsatisfying answer._

"Besides, it's not all women. Just ones I find attractive." As he said this, he studied her face to see what she thought about the statement.

Leaving her drink on the bar, Gillian spun her chair so her whole body was facing Cal, legs crossed at the ankles and kicked slightly to the side. She was sitting tall and confident with a glimmer in her eye and her hands folded in her lap.

"You call Emily 'luv'," she stated matter-of-factly.

Shrugging, Cal said, "Yeah, well she's my daughter. Can't fault me for that."

"So, attractive women and your daughter. That's who you call 'luv'." Gillian was looking him right in the eye. She raised her chin a little and allowed her left shoulder to drop slightly as she made her last statement and tilted her head toward the right.

Not sure what was going on, but not wanting to lose if this was a game, Cal didn't break eye contact.

"Yeah. The women I call 'luv' are either attractive, or someone I care about immensely._"_

Gillian straightened out her posture, pulling her still crossed ankles to center and tilting her head down so she was staring deeply in Cal's eyes.

"So which am I?"

At this Cal stopped. His breathing halted as he looked at her to see if that was a serious question. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a glimpse of a teasing smile at the corner of her mouth, but was gone in an instant. She now looked as serious as ever, game face firmly in place. Finally he responded.

"Oh no! You're not roping me into that," Cal stated while pointing a finger at her. "That's a trick question Foster, and you know it! Either I end up saying you're attractive and I don't care about you, or you'll assume I'm saying you're unattractive! I can't win at this one." Cal put his hands up, palms toward her in a slightly defensive gesture.

"You dug yourself a hole. It's not my fault," Gillian stated dead-pan as she swiveled back to facing the bar.

"Oh please. You led me right to a hole you had already dug! You were just waiting for me to fall in."

Gillian glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and took a long drink. _He didn't answer my question._

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_**A/N: I'm not sure if I want to continue with this. Thoughts?**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This chapter's a bit shorter - sorry! I have another chapter ready to go that's much longer, so you have that to look forward to. I'm not sure when that one will be posted though. It's probably the 2nd to last chapter and I'm trying to decide how long I want this to be... Well, what are you doing still reading this? R&R the fic! : )**

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Gillian's drink was doing nothing to ease the tension she felt settling in her body. As she sat there, she became more uneasy than she had been in a long time around Cal. And as the uneasiness grew, so did her internal struggle…

_Why is that such a hard question to answer? It's not like I required him to stay within the categories he set for himself. I never said someone couldn't be in both categories. But maybe I'm just not in both categories and he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Maybe… _Gillian sighed deeply, drawing Cal's attention. Her internal struggle continued on at such a rapid pace that she didn't notice him studying her. _This was a mistake. I shouldn't have even asked him that question. Or told him I was coming here for that matter. Helen was right. I am going to end up lonely. I was right to have kept my distance these last few weeks. What is wrong with you Gillian? Why don't you listen to yourself!_

Cal studied Gillian with his head cocked to the side, and he was becoming more and more interested in what was going on inside Gillian's head…

_Does she really not see me watching her? I'm sitting right here, looking right at her. Nah, she's more observant than that… What was that? Confusion? Followed by anger… That's not good. Probably cuz I didn't just answer her damn question. Why does she always come after me with those shrink questions. She definitely manipulated my answers. She only uses that shrink crap when she wants to. She can't use it to manipulate my answers, and then not use it to read through what I'm saying. I mean it has to be obvious…_

"Why are you staring at me?" Gillian snapped having finally noticed Cal was fixated on her. She drew her head back slightly at the intensity of his stare. "Don't do that, Cal. Stop reading me!" She paused for a moment while he continued to look at her so deeply Gillian thought he was reading her mind. "Do I need to get out some chalk and draw a physical line for you?"

"Just trying to figure out what's going on here, luv." He looked confused, and a little worried. "Where did that question come from? You didn't even acknowledge I'd arrived and just popped that question like it was casual conversation. What did you expect from me?"

Gillian ran a hand through her hair and sighed again, thoroughly exasperated that he'd just called her 'luv' when he hadn't even told her what that meant.

"Gillian." Cal put his hand on her left arm which was back on the bar firmly gripping her now empty glass.

She looked down at his hand on her arm. It felt so good it made her heart ache, but right now it was the last thing she wanted. If he couldn't tell her why he calls her luv, then she didn't want to fall victim to his charm right now.

"I'm sorry." She pulled her arm away. She could feel her defense mechanisms slowly rising around her with each passing minute. "I shouldn't have asked you that."

"It's a legitimate question, Gil. I just wasn't prepared for it. You caught me a bit off guard asking me out of the blue like that." Cal's eyes wandered down to Gillian's arm that she had pulled away from him. She had her right hand wrapped around her left bicep, pulling it further away from him. He still wasn't sure what made her ask that question or why she reacted to his answer the way she did, but he was certain about one thing. Right now, she was very far away from him.

_I could have been more truthful, more open and honest. But is that really a conversation to have at a bar? Er, a nice restaurant with a bar inside? Bloody hell this isn't how I imagined this evening going. I finally get her outside of work for the first time in weeks and it all goes to shit. Damn that red dress. If she'd just left the black one on I would've just said good night and none of this would've happened…_

Cal was pulled from his thoughts by yet another sigh from Gillian who was now gathering her things. Cal quickly pulled out his wallet, "I've got it, lu… I've got it."

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night, Cal." Gillian walked out without looking back, that gorgeous red dress taunting him as she left.

"Good night, Gillian." Cal no longer felt he had the right to call her 'luv'. Not without a proper answer to her question.

Cal turned back to the bar and ordered up another shot of the amber liquid he'd been drinking earlier, hoping the elixir would enlighten him to what had just happened. A few drinks later he realized that the drinks were doing nothing but making the night's events fuzzier and more out of focus. He paid the bill he'd drank up for himself and made the short trip home, determined crawl in bed as quickly as possible and forget about everything until morning when he would certainly be faced with a large amount of passive-aggressive behavior from his favorite psychologist.

Just before falling asleep, Cal's cell phone alerted him that he had a new text message.

"_Think about my question. When you know the answer, let me know. Until then, let's just try to forget I asked.  
__Gillian"_

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_**A/N: Did this seem to be OOC? BTW - I noticed a few typos in the first chapter. Whoops! That's what happens when you're writing at 2am. Hopefully I caught them all on this one.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: First of all, thank you to everyone who's reviewing. It gives me a reason to keep going! : D Second, I have to confess that I've been so so so so afraid of ruining this story. I really hope this isn't the chapter that does me in. Stick with me! Even though I feel like it's gets sort of OOC, I think I pull it out in the end... Let me know. Third, this should make up for the shortness of the last chapter! : P**

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Over the course of the next week, Cal didn't call Gillian luv once. This didn't go unnoticed by either one of them. It did, however, leave Gillian wondering what she was thinking when she asked Cal why he calls her luv in the first place. Yes, she originally got annoyed when he called her luv without giving her an explanation, but a whole week of just being 'Gillian' or 'Foster' seemed somehow impersonal. It left her distracted and feeling empty at the end of their conversations. There was something hollow in Cal's eyes, and she began hoping that she'd have her answer soon so the awkwardness and emptiness would go away.

Cal still felt he owed Gillian a good explanation before he should be allowed to call her luv again. It really was a good question and not one he'd given much thought to before she asked. Calling her that was just something that naturally happened. He'd spent the last week considering the question, feeling his heart break a little when he wanted to call her luv but he called her Foster instead. There was nothing wrong with calling her Foster. He actually did it quite frequently anyway, but it felt unnatural to never call her luv.

He still wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say to her, but a week was long enough for him. Thinking about it just made him feel distant from her, and he missed their closeness. It was time for things to get back to normal; or as normal as things could get with a response to such a question.

With his mind finally made up, Cal found himself standing at the door of Gillian's office watching her feverishly work on a something. _Must be finances. She doesn't get that stressed about most anything else._ After watching her for a few moments, he started feeling her stress and that was the last thing he needed for the conversation he was about to have.

"You remember your question you asked me?" he asked from her doorway.

Gillian halted her shuffling of papers and looked up at him with her arms still extended toward the papers she was attempting to get in order. She assumed there was only one question he could be referring to, but she needed a good look at his face to confirm. After she was certain they were on the same page, she responded with a simple, "Yes," and brought her hands to her lap while it seemed a swarm of butterflies had taken up residence in her stomach.

Cal made his way into her office, closing the door behind him and stopping just in front of her desk. He rubbed his chin saying, "Well I think I've got your answer. But I don't want you to interrupt me. Alright? You've got to just sit there and listen. Can you do that?"

She nodded, settled back into her chair, and crossed her arms over her chest.

_Wonderful. She's already defensive._

Cal remained standing in front of her desk, slouched like usual to maintain his signature look of nonchalance, one hand shoved deep in his pocket. "I don't remember the first time I called you 'luv'. Do you?" He gestured toward her with his free hand and fixed his eyes on hers at this question, waiting to see what they would tell him.

Gillian, not wanting to interrupt, simply shook her head no. In reality, she remembered the exact moment. She knew every detail by heart. She remembered that it was autumn, that the air was very cool, and that a strange warm breeze blew by as they were talking. She remembered the sun being uninhibited by clouds but doing nothing to warm her. She remembered the not warm enough black jacket she was wearing, and the matching black dress shirt Cal wore in a casual way only he could pull off. She remembered how her heart leapt a little when that word lazily rolled off his tongue, and how she immediately told her heart to calm down because he called a lot of people that. But she did remember. Her heart still leapt a little when he called her that.

Cal saw the memory flash in her eyes, and he knew she did remember the first time. He wished he remembered it too. He made a mental note to ask her about it later, depending of course on how this little chat went.

Cal swallowed and licked his lips before firmly planting his feet on the ground, tilting his head to the side, and continuing. "What I told you, the other night at the pub, maybe if we rewound that conversation a little, or edited it, it would make more sense."

Gillian just stared at him, arms still crossed, face no longer softened by her memories of Cal. She made a mental note of his casual demeanor and flippant gesturing. He felt his stomach fell a little at how her face seemed set in stone. He ran a hand over his face and felt his heart fall a little too, but he continued.

"You took what I said to be two separate categories, yeah?" At this, he received a small nod. "Well really, those two categories overlap some. It's like two circles that intersect in the middle. There are some women, like Poppy," _Slight flash of rage. Not the best name to mention… _"Who fall strictly in the attractive circle. They mean nothing to me." With this there was something in Gillian's eyes that betrayed her closed-off demeanor. "Then there are other women, like Emily, who fall into the 'I care about them immensely' circle." Gillian still didn't look too impressed. "There is very small fraction of overlap in there though. I'd say maybe 2%. And that's a stretch." He looked at her, hoping for a response. But she didn't move a muscle or make a sound. _Has someone cast a spell on her and turned her into a statue? Apparently I need to be more clear…_

"Alright then."

Cal moved to Gillian's chair, grabbed it, and rolled her over to the couch. He sat on the couch and pulled her right in front of him, his knees sitting just outside hers. He reached under the chair to adjust the height so she sank down to eye level. This earned a slightly annoyed look from the still crossed-arm Gillian.

_What the hell. This explanation can't get much worse. Let's try being completely forward._

Cal sat back in the couch, looked right in her eyes and said, "Gillian… Luv. I don't feel about anyone the way I feel about you. I never have. You're special, unique. You understand me when no one else does. You tolerate me when no one else will. You stick around when the rest of the world has turned its back on me. You've got the most beautiful, giving heart that I've ever known. And that's why I care about you," Cal paused, searching for the right word, "immeasurably."

He could see her eyes softening, threatening to fill with tears. She was trying her damnedest to remain neutral and show him nothing, but on the inside her heart was beating wildly. Finally, finally she wasn't just Gillian anymore.

"And look at you." Cal sat up and gave her a quick once over with his eyes. "You about killed me in that red dress the other night. Do you have any idea how bloody sexy that dress is? No, do you have any idea how bloody sexy you are in that dress? Hell, you're sexy all the time. You act like you don't know you've got sex appeal, but how could you not? I see the way people look at you, and I know you see it too. But I think what you don't know, is how beautiful you are."

Cal paused and watched as Gillian's mouth opened slightly, her shoulders dropped, and a look of disbelief at what she was hearing washed over her face. She began slowly studying his face, looking for any sign this was a game and hoping to find only the truth written on his features.

Cal looked down to find more courage and leaned forward with his forearms on his knees. He decided the disbelief Gillian showed was going to have to be good enough. Before he looked up to her, he closed his eyes and willed his mask to fall away.

_No point in doing this half way._

When he looked back up, Gillian inhaled sharply at the honesty she saw on his face. The raw emotion and vulnerability that she'd only seen glimpses of before was plastered all over his face. She held her breath, afraid that the smallest movement would break the spell, that he'd snap his mask back on and it would all be over.

Cal reached for her hands and held them in his own, examining them for a moment. Then as he held them with his forearms still on his knees, he looked up into Gillian's eyes and slowly continued.

"Your eyes are amazing. I've never seen eyes so clear, so honest. I get lost in your eyes… They're welcoming. They make me never want to leave. And your freckles," Gillian turned her head away at the mention of her freckles, and Cal gave her a lop-sided grin. "I love your freckles. They remind me of how pure you are. How untainted by the world you manage to stay. They remind me of your damned optimism." They both chuckled at this.

"You know what I really love though? These." Cal let go of Gillian's hands and placed his hands on her thighs just above her knees and just below the hemline of her skirt, his fingers wrapping around the bottoms of her legs and squeezing slightly. He looked down to see Gillian's hands laid flat on the tops of her thighs, and he allowed his gaze to wander down to her knees. Gillian once again held her breath, unsure of what was coming and finding it increasingly difficult to remain silent.

Finally, Cal continued. "I can't get enough of your legs. Sometimes you wear those dresses that hike up just so when you sit and god Gillian… I don't know where I find the restraint. It's especially bad when you wear heels like you did the other night. You've got great calves anyway, but those heels do something to you. Hell, they do something to me."

Feeling that he'd gotten a little off track, Cal abruptly said, "All that is to say that yes, I am very, very attracted to you." He looked her dead in the eye with his last statement and held her gaze for a long moment. Gillian's eyes were as wide as saucers and her legs were on fire. She blinked slowly and her chest was a bit raised from the breath she was still holding.

Cal instantly became acutely aware of the fact that he still had a hold of Gillian's thighs. Seeing the desire in her eyes but also the surprise clearly plastered all over her face and posture, he slowly slid his hands toward her knees and off her legs completely, noting how soft her skin felt and blazing a trail down her legs as he pulled his hands away.

He sat back on the couch, threw one arm over the back, and watched her for a moment. She licked her lips and remained very still, her hands still flat on her thighs.

"Did I answer your question, luv?"

Finally letting out the breath she'd been holding and feeling shocked she answered, "Yes. Yes, you did. Thank you."

They both sat there for a few moments looking at each other, neither one speaking a word.

Cal eventually swung his arm off the back of the couch, placed his hands on her chair, came inches from her face, and said, "Good." He looked at her lips which were still moist from her licking them and pushed the chair back to allow himself room to get up. Once she was sufficiently out of the way, he simply exited the room without saying another word or looking back, leaving Gillian puzzled, happy, and with burning thighs.

She sat in that same spot for a few minutes trying to take in everything Cal had said. And then she smiled.

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_**A/N: Sooooooo? Way off in left field? Not even in the realm of possibility? Love it, hate it? What do you think?**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you once again to all my wonderful reviewers! The reviews get me excited to write more. ::hint, hint:: lol!**

**And without further ado, chapter 4. Don't hate...**

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After coming to her senses and realizing it would look strange if someone saw her sitting in the position she was in, Gillian got up and moved her chair back to her desk where it belonged. She readjusted the height and sat down. Her emotions began flipping between being elated at what she'd just heard and feeling unsure of how to proceed from here.

_Well now I know I fall in both categories. _A smile once again played on her lips. _But he just left after saying all that. So what does that mean? What am I supposed to do now?_

Gillian tried her best to avoid Cal for the rest of the day in a non-obvious manner. She succeeded for the most part and took the rest of the day and that evening to think about everything that had happened since she sprung the question on him. Just before falling asleep she came up with a very, very rough game plan.

_Tomorrow is Friday. That's a good day to feel out what he's thinking. If it doesn't go well, we'll at least have the weekend to recover…_

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The following morning, Gillian tentatively walked into Cal's office.

"Good Morning," she said with a smile. She was surprised at how happy she was to see him.

"Morning, luv." Cal looked up at her and returned her smile.

Gillian squinted her eyes ever so slightly and said, "Our little chat yesterday - should we do anything about that?"

Cal decided playing dumb would be the best route for him on this one. "Like what?"

"I don't know… Anything." She just starred at him.

"You're not really being clear, Foster," he feigned ignorance.

Gillian sighed, irritated that he was acting so dense about the subject. "Is it something you…want to act on?"

"Act on? Are you asking if I want to date you?"

Gillian scrunched up her face, "Umm, sure. I…I guess that's one way of going about it."

"I dunno. I'm not sure dating is really my scene these days," Cal responded while casually flipping his hand around in gesture.

"You're the one that brought it up!" Gillian's voice got higher toward the end of her statement with her increased irritation.

"Well actually, darling, you're the one that brought it up. I just threw out a suggestion since you approached with an incomplete proposition."

"It was not a proposition. It was a question."

"Really? What was the question again?" He was enjoying this entirely too much.

"God, Cal." She was completely exasperated now. "Let me spell it out for you. You care about me. Yes?"

"Right."

"You find me attractive." Gillian shrugged one shoulder at him, begging for a response.

A devilish smile slowly crept up Cal's face. "Yeah, I sure do."

"Do you ever feel like doing something about that?" Gillian was beginning to hate how passive Cal was being and her responses had a short edge to them now.

"You'd be amazed at the things I've thought about doing because of that." He had _that_ look in his eye, like he was going to devour something.

"Like what?" Finally, she was able to turn the tables on him.

Shocked by her boldness Cal half-shouted, "Oiy, Foster! We are in the workplace here."

With his last statement indicating his thoughts weren't office-appropriate, Gillian was glad she was so far away from Cal. Her pupils might have told him something she didn't want him to know.

"Well, maybe we need to take this outside of work," she coolly responded

Cal paused. _Is she really aiming at a date?_ His eyes began skimming her face and he tilted his head to the side as he examined her.

"Sure. Em's at her mum's this weekend. Why don't we chat about it tonight? I'll make dinner. You can come over after work."

"Ok." Gillian nodded at him, and quickly exited his office.

Cal watched as she walked out, noting that she was wearing a black skirt. And heels.

A satisfied smile took up residence on his face and he thought, _This is going to be interesting._

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As 6:30 rolled around, Cal noticed he hadn't seen Gillian in a while. He was finally finished with his mind-numbing office work and he went in search of his dinner guest. When he walked up to her office he found her doing her own mind-numbing office work.

"You about ready?" he asked.

Gillian looked up to find a more tired version of Cal than the one she'd seen a few hours ago.

"Had enough of your paperwork?" she teased.

"Yeah I have. I'm ready to get out of here."

She looked down at the file she was getting in order and put it away.

"Me too. I finished this just as you walked in." She looked up at him with a smile and said, "Let's go!"

As they approached their cars Cal said, "It's sort of late. You want to do take out? I can pick it up on the way. Do you need to run home or anything?"

"No, I hadn't planned on it. And take out is fine."

"Alright, I'll call in the order on the way. It will only take a few extra minutes. You've got my spare key. Just let yourself in. I quite like your outfit today anyway," he added with a cheeky grin.

"I'll see you at your place," was Gillian's only response. She got in her car, conscious of the fact that Cal was probably checking out just how high her skirt was riding as she sat down. She quickly closed her door and earned a 'You know me too well' look from Cal.

He got in his vehicle and they both took off to their respective locations.

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Fifteen minutes later, Gillian pulled in Cal's driveway and put her car in park. She walked to the front door and hesitated a little at putting the key in the lock. It wasn't that she'd never used his spare key before, just never for an occasion like this. She began instantly feeling butterflies in her stomach.

She pushed the door open and walked inside, noting how very quite the house was. Even with the house being so empty though, she still felt very comfortable there. It felt oddly like being in her own home. _Probably just because I've been here so many times to go over a case._

With how long she lingered outside and just inside the door, she hadn't even had time to get out of the entry when Cal walked in behind her, toting two bags of food.

"Wow! You must be hungry."

"No sense cooking for one all weekend. Figured I might as well get enough to have leftovers for a few meals." He paused for a moment and seeing she was still standing by the door he asked, "You just get here?"

"Yeah, you were right behind me."

"Told you it'd be fast. Let's eat!"

Cal headed for the kitchen and Gillian followed behind him a moment later. Not only did she have butterflies in her stomach, but now her heart was thumping in her chest and she was having trouble controlling her breathing.

Taking a deep breath and pulling herself together she said, "Great. I'm starving!"

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They managed to keep conversation light through dinner, neither one feeling like having any sort of serious conversation while eating, but they could feel the mood shifting as their plates became emptier.

Once they were finished, they cleared the table and moved to the living room. They sat at opposite ends of the couch, each assuming the other would sit in the middle. What they were left with was a strangely impersonal distance between them they weren't used to. Neither one wanting to be the person to close the gap, they stayed where they were and chatted about nonsense and work for several minutes; and then there was a lull in the conversation.

Finally feeling he'd found his opportunity, Cal looked at Gillian and asked the question that had been weighing on his mind since answering her question yesterday.

"How do you feel about everything I said yesterday?"

Gillian turned to look at Cal, surprised by the question. His jumping in like that did nothing to calm her nerves, and she seemed to have trouble finding any kind of words that would come out of her mouth.

_Why won't my mouth work? Just talk. You talk to him all the time. Oh stomach, please stop flipping around… Focus, Gillian. How do I feel about what he said? Where do I start?_

"Gillian?" Cal was a little concerned at her lack of a response.

She turned to him again. "I don't know where to begin," she said with a nervous smile.

Cal continued watching her, growing more anxious as each second ticked by.

Tick. Tick. Tick…

A hollow pit began to form in his stomach.

Tick. Tick. Tick…

His heart began to fall.

Tick. Tick. Tick…

_I've made a terrible mistake. I guess she wasn't ready for that explanation._

Tick. Tick. Tick…

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******_I know, I know, I know. Horrible cliff-hanger, right? Don't fret - I already have chapter 5 almost finished, and it should be up soon! : D_**

******_What do you guys want from this fic? I might end it after chapter 5, or maybe I'll add one more chapter... It completely depends on what y'all want. Let me know!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I have to apologize. I told you guys this would be up a looong time ago! I really did have most of it written, but I wasn't happy with the ending. I'm still not sure about the ending... But sitting on it wasn't making it any better. So hopefully you like it.**

**One more note: I wrote the bit about Cal being a good man _before_ 'Delinquent' aired! Not that it really matters, but I didn't steal the idea from the show. : ) Still, as you all know, none of it's mine.**

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Gillian noticed that Cal was no longer looking at her. He was now drilling holes in the floor with his eyes and he looked an odd combination of mad and embarrassed. Knowing that he was probably feeling this way because of her lack of an immediate response, she decided to just jump in head first. Nerves be damned.

_I'll just start somewhere else in the conversation, and I'll eventually end up answering his question. At least I'll be talking that way._

Finally Gillian spoke. "I like having you around…a lot." This caught Cal's attention. With his head still hung he looked at her from the corner of his eye. No sooner did their eyes connect did Gillian look away.

"Everything seems better when you're around. Sometimes when I'm sitting at home…alone, I….I…." She trailed off.

Cal leaned down in an effort to catch her eyes again. She looked at him for a second but then looked away again. He leaned down further still and finally held her gaze.

"You what?" he asked passively.

She simply looked at him and bit her lip. Knowing everything he said yesterday somehow didn't make saying this any easier.

_What is my problem? I'm normally so good with words… Now I know how he felt when I sprung that question on him._

"I think about how you're home alone too." She looked away yet again. For whatever reason, she was finding it nearly impossible to look at him while saying anything right now.

"Gil. It's alright," Cal said in a supportive tone. "Whatever it is, it's alright. It can't be harder than admitting I love your legs. Now you know I'm looking at them all the time." Cal made an attempt to lighten the mood. The air felt strangely heavy around him.

"I already knew you were looking at them all the time," she stated confidently. Then in a quieter voice she said, "I just didn't know you like them so much."

Cal gave her an encouraging smile and she finally continued after a deep breath.

"If you're home alone, and I'm home alone, well I'd rather not be alone. You're good company, and it seems silly for us to both be alone. When Emily's gone, of course."

_Good company… Not exactly what I was hoping to hear. _Cal ran a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. _Come on, Gillian. You're not giving me what I need to hear._

Frustrated by how her words were still failing her, Gillian suddenly got up and walked to the window, leaving Cal sitting alone on the couch. She looked out to see a few cars driving by, some kids playing in their front yards, and a general look of happiness over everyone she could see.

"Do you see these people?" Gillian asked nodding toward the window.

Cal got up and joined her at the window, taking the opportunity to be closer to her than he was on the couch.

He looked out the window and saw nothing special. "What about them?" he asked.

"What do you see?" she replied.

"The general going's on of a neighborhood. Kids playing, cars driving by."

Gillian shook her head slightly to herself and then looked at Cal. "That's not what I mean. How do the people look to you?"

Cal briefly surveyed the landscape and decided there was one consistent theme. "They look happy," he said with a shrug as he looked at them.

Gillian's stomach flip-flopped when Cal said the word 'happy'.

"I want to be happy, Cal," she said while looking at him.

Cal looked at her perplexed. "What are you talking about? You're the cheeriest person I know."

"Cheery is different than happy. I want to be deeply happy. I want to fall asleep at night with a smile on my face. I don't want to just be content." She turned her body toward him and resisted the urge to touch his arm. She waited until he was looking at her and then said, "I feel warm when you're around. Comfortable. I feel like I belong, and I love that feeling. I feel safe, secure. I see how protective you are of me. You'd to anything to keep me out of harm's way."

Cal turned his body toward her and she took a step to him, closing the already small gap that was between them and leaving only a foot of space.

Looking down at her hands she said, "Cal, I…" She knew exactly what she wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't come out. No matter how much she wanted to say it, her mind wouldn't let her. Her heart was screaming at her, begging her to say what she was feeling; but she couldn't. She looked up at him with pleading eyes, hoping he'd get the message.

"I get it Gillian. It's alright." He gave her a smile that didn't come close to reaching his eyes, and he turned and walked away toward the kitchen.

Gillian felt very confused. _Why is he walking away from me?_

"You get what?" she called after him.

"I get what you're saying," he yelled from the kitchen in a slightly cross tone.

Gillian walked in to see he was pouring himself a drink. Her brow was furrowed with bewilderment.

"Would you mind telling me what I was saying?" _Clearly something has been lost in translation._

Cal's frustration was growing. He threw back the drink, swallowed hard, and thought, _I've had enough of this. She asks me why I call her luv, I give her an honest answer, and then she comes over here and acts like it means nothing._

Gillian's eyes were now wide and she was very confused. _I didn't think it was going _that_ bad…_

Cal poured himself another drink. He looked mad as hell now, but he finally answered her question.

"You were telling me what great friends we are, Gillian." She noticed that 'luv' once again seemed to have disappeared from his vocabulary.

"You were going on about how you want to be happy, not just content. How life isn't the way you want it to be." Cal began making large, angry gestures with his hands and threw back his second drink. Gillian calmly walked over to the opposite side of the counter that Cal was standing at and laid her hands on it.

Very intrigued by how he got that from what she was saying, Gillian asked, "What else did you hear me say?"

"Don't pull your shrink crap on me, Foster!"

"I'm not. I'm just trying to make sure I understand what you're saying." Gillian was acting calm, but she was frantic inside. She felt like she was loosing him more quickly than she could pull him back.

"Fine. What I heard you say is that you don't want to be content. I leave you feeling warm and safe and protected and give you a sense of belonging, and that leaves you feeling content, yeah?" Not giving her a chance to respond, he quickly followed up his question by throwing his arms out wide and saying, "Well that's all I've got, Gillian!"

Waiting a moment, she calmly asked, "Are you done?"

"No!" He poured himself a third drink, slammed it back, and said, "Now I'm done."

He charged past her back into the living room and stopped. He wanted to continue his tirade, but his three drinks and the fatigue of the day hit him like a brick wall and left him needing to sit down.

_Maybe three in three minutes was excessive…_

Gillian walked back out to the living room and stood in front of the couch where Cal was now sprawled out.

"Cal, will you please look at me?" Gillian spoke like a mother asking her child if he was finished with his tantrum.

Cal tipped his head back and looked at her with a mixture of irritation and fury.

Once they locked eyes she said, "I can understand how you interpreted what I said the way you did."

At this, Cal huffed. Gillian rolled her eyes and shoved his legs off the couch to make room for herself, earning a loud, "Oiy!" from Cal. While there wasn't a lot of room due to Cal's sprawling out, Gillian wasn't about to sit at the other end of the couch again. She pushed his legs a little more and made room for herself in the middle.

Finally feeling her brain kicking into gear, Gillian firmly stated, "It's my turn now. I have an answer for you, but I don't want you to interrupt me. Alright? You've got to just sit there and listen. Can you do that?"

Cal immediately noticed she used the same words on him that he used on her. "Fine."

Completely focused on him, she began, "I did say all those things, but that's not what I meant. All those things you do – making me feel warm, safe, protected, and like I belong – those leave me feeling less content," Cal snapped his eyes to Gillian's looking furious, "and more happy." With this, Cal's face washed blank. He no longer seemed angry, but he didn't look happy either.

"_You_ make me happy, Cal." He looked slightly skeptical. "The way you look at me, the way you call me luv…" She offered him a look and an unsure smile that explained why she had asked why he calls her luv in the first place – she just wanted to know if it made her special to him. His face softened and his eyes filled with curiosity. "I love the tenacity you have when you go after something you want. You go after the truth and you'll run it down if it's the death of you. I love watching you work. I can see the wheels turning up there when you're focused, and it makes me proud to see you in your element."

She paused looking to see if he was accepting her new answer. She could see he was. He understood her this time.

"Sit up." She nudged his arm and motioned for him to move over. He grunted and scooted himself into the corner of the couch, sitting at an angle toward Gillian. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to sink in and get comfortable.

Gillian scooted toward him, laid the side of her legs against his knees, and held his wrist with her hand which caused Cal to open his eyes again.

"You're a good man, Cal."

"Gillian, I…" Cal started, but was interrupted by a scolding Gillian.

"No talking! Remember?"

"You don't…" He tried again, but she cut him off one more time.

"Hush! You can talk when I'm done." Cal closed his mouth and starred at her with his brow knit together and annoyance glimmering in his eyes.

"You've done things you're not proud of, you frequently put yourself in unnecessary danger, and you thrive on taking risks." Cal was failing to see how these were good things…

"But you do most of those things to get to the truth. You put yourself in harm's way to protect innocent people. You put yourself in danger to protect what's yours. That makes you a good man."

Gillian paused, allowing time for what she just said to sink in. "I've been in relationships with a lot of men. None of them did anything near as crazy as some of the things you've done, but not one of them were as good a man as you either."

Gillian looked down at her hand holding Cal's wrist and squeezed lightly. She looked back up into his eyes and continued.

"What I really want in life is a good man that makes me happy." She shrugged, bit her bottom lip, and quietly said, "You're both of those things."

Cal tipped his head to the side, moved his wrist to grab her hand and pulled her into him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly while she buried her face in his neck. She laid her left hand on his chest and pulled her right arm into her.

Cal's heart was beating violently, and he felt a fierce emotion coursing through his veins. "Am I allowed to talk now?"

Gillian nodded, not moving from his shoulder.

"Will you look at me please?"

She swallowed and lifted her head to look at him. She found herself mere inches from Cal's face, and her heart went into overdrive.

Looking deep in her eyes Cal asked, "What did I ever do to deserve you? I always felt lucky to have you as a friend. Anything more than that never entered the realm of possibility. I don't deserve you, you know?"

In a whisper Gillian responded, "Deserving has nothing to do with it, Cal. The heart wants what it wants. And my heart wants you."

That pushed Cal over the edge. He took his right hand and brought it up to her neck and ran his thumb over her cheek. Gillian released a sigh of relief. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, reveling in the feel of how gentle it was.

Cal noticed his breathing had increased, and Gillian's matched.

He lightly ran his thumb along her lips, pulling her bottom lip down ever so slightly.

Gillian saw he was staring at her mouth and it did nothing to slow her breathing, nor did his fully-dilated pupils. She slid her left hand up to his shoulder and in the instant she moved, Cal leaned forward the extra two inches and captured her lips with his.

He moved his hand behind her head and laced his fingers in her hair while using his other arm to pull her closer to him still, deepening the kiss.

Suddenly, Cal pulled away to survey Gillian. He saw all the desire in the world in her eyes, coupled with some confusion.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said with a smile and a shake of his head.

He pulled her back toward him and began kissing her again after smiling against her lips.

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_**Hopefully it was worth the wait... Now tell me, and I need definitive answers here - do you want a smutastic chapter, a short little smutastic section, or no smutasticness? Tell me, tell me! If I get some definitive answers I'm more likely to update sooner since I know what to aim at.**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I hope you guys are still out there! Life really got away from me for a while and then I remembered, "Oh my gosh! I promised them some smut!" So here it finally is for you. I sure hope it was worth the wait!**

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_From last time:_

_Suddenly, Cal pulled away to survey Gillian. He saw all the desire in the world in her eyes, coupled with some confusion._

_"What?" she asked._

_"Nothing," he said with a smile and a shake of his head._

_He pulled her back toward him and began kissing her again after smiling against her lips._

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After having taken a good look at her face to be certain of the situation, Cal went directly back to the task at hand: focusing completely on Gillian Foster.

With one hand still tangled in her hair, he ran his other hand across her lower back. Noticing he could feel the hem of her shirt on his fingers, he slid his hand up and found the soft skin of her waist. This earned a light moan from Gillian which Cal found very encouraging. He slid his hand up further and laid it flat on the middle of her back, his fingers sneaking under the band of her bra.

_Is that lace? Bloody hell… This woman is out to kill me!_

Cal immediately found himself wondering what color Gillian's bra was, and if her panties matched. One slip of a finger in the back of her skirt confirmed it was also lace, and Cal found himself needing to get Gillian out of her clothes. Now. He dropped both hands to Gillian's thighs, hiked her skirt up just a touch, grabbed her by the waist, and placed her on his lap so she was straddling him.

Gillian was shocked at the quickness of his movements. In one moment she's leaned on him, and a second later she's straddling him with her chest dangerously close to his face.

Cal placed both hands on Gillian's thighs and gripped them firmly, while reaching up to kiss her neck. Gillian placed her hands on Cal's shoulders and slid them back to his neck, tilting her head back to give him better access to his target.

It hadn't gone unnoticed by Cal earlier in the day that Gillian's pink blouse had a deep-v neckline. Not only was it pleasant to look at all day, but he found it useful now as he inched his kisses further and further down her chest. At the same time, he slid his hands up over her skirt to her hips, grabbing them possessively.

Gillian moaned once again and involuntarily ground her hips into Cal, causing him to pull his head back and his eyes to roll back slightly with the pleasure. Gillian slid her hands down Cal's arms and let them rest on the outside of his legs. She bit her bottom lip while looking at him. As he looked back, he pulled his hands from her waist and started on the bottom button of her blouse.

One, two buttons later, he glanced down to see her belly button revealed.

Three, four buttons later, the creamy skin of her stomach was revealed.

There was only one button left. Gillian's chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace as she watched with anticipation as Cal reached for the last button. He grabbed it, looked up into her eyes, and he popped it open. Gillian's eyes remained locked on his, but she sat a little taller. She waited what felt like years for him to do something.

With his eyes still locked on hers, he slipped his hands inside her now open blouse and around her waist. Agonizingly slow, he slid his hands up to her ribcage, up the front of her arms to her shoulders, and he pushed her blouse down off her arms.

Gillian was getting rid of her blouse and throwing it on the floor when she heard Cal mumble one word: "Black."

Thinking it wasn't possible, Gillian saw Cal's eyes darken even further. She gave him an innocent smile, licked her lips, and kissed him so deeply his head sunk back in the cushions.

Feeling his desire spiraling out of control, Cal wrapped an arm around her back, grabbed one thigh, and flipped Gillian on her back on the couch while he climbed up to hover over her.

It's was Gillian's eye's turn to darken now, and Cal was never one to miss that detail. He gave her a sly smile and kissed his way from her neck to between her breasts while sliding a hand so far up her leg it almost came out the top of her skirt.

Cal was beginning to get annoyed at this skirt. It looked very nice on, but it was also currently very much in his way. Cal once again aimed his kisses at Gillian's mouth and began groping and feeling around for the zipper that would allow him to see if the panties matched. Feeling Gillian tip her hips up, Cal slid his hands around her and unzipped her from the back and pulled down her skirt in one motion.

Cal felt a wide smile on his face when he saw that the panties did indeed match her black lacy bra.

"Oiy - do you wear this sort of thing regularly? Or did you plan on getting lucky today?"

Gillian simply starred at Cal which caused him to say, "Right. Latter of the two then." He added a cocky smile for good measure which Gillian returned with a swat on the arm.

After soaking in the view for a few more moments, Cal once again grabbed Gillian. This time, he stood up with her wrapped around him – legs around his waist, arms around his neck.

"What are you doing?" Gillian asked as Cal walked toward the stairs.

While walking up them he answered, "We're gonna need more room, luv."

"More room?" They were half way up the stairs.

"Yeah. There'll be plenty of time for shaggin' on the couch later if you like. But this time around, we're going to the bedroom." Now they were at the top of the stairs.

Just as it registered that she was completely wrapped around his body and he had one hand seriously close to her rear, he laid her on his bed with her knees bent and her legs hanging off. And it was in that moment that Gillian realized things were very unbalanced.

_Why am I the only one in my underwear?_

In the moment she was about to do something regarding the lack of clothing balance in the room, Cal laid his hands on her knees and slid them in one fluid motion up her thighs, across her hips, over her flat stomach; and when he reached her breasts he stopped there with one hand while proceeding up to her neck with the other. He cupped her breast with his hand while watching her face to see how she reacted to his touch, learning what she liked.

As he cupped and gently squeezed her breast she started squirming under his touch. He moved his free hand back down to her hips where most of the movement was taking place. He slid his hand between her legs to find her underwear soaked. The moisture on his fingers caused him to harden to the point of discomfort in his pants.

Once again feeling the extreme unbalance in the clothing situation, Gillian sat up and helped Cal with his belt and pants while he rid himself of his shirt and tossed them to the floor.

It was finally Gillian's turn to soak in his body. She ran her hands across his toned stomach and up to his chest, rolling her hands over his shoulders and back down his arms, admiring his tattoos as she came across them. There was no ignoring the erection in his underwear, which was very near her face. She looked up at him and placed her hands on his thighs, squeezing them. She ran her hands up his legs and inside his underwear while he stood there looking at her.

Cal put his hands on her shoulders, pushing her straps off. Gillian reached around and unclasped her bra, still holding it in place. He took one of her shoulders and guided her down on the bed. She scooted up so she was fully on the bed and he crawled up to her. She was still holding her black lace bra in place until Cal took a hold of its edge. She let go and Cal dragged it off her body, leaving her topless and exposed to him. He then hooked his fingers in her underwear and dragged it down her legs and threw it on the floor with her bra. Loving the view but feeling his erection throbbing, Cal sat up on his knees and rid himself of his underwear.

Though he knew she was ready, Cal didn't want to take a chance at hurting her. Kneeling between her legs, he laid a hand inside her thigh and inched his way up to her folds. He tentatively touched her, and heard Gillian let out a breath at the contact. He ran a finger up and down her folds and then little by little inched a finger inside her, earning a quiet whimper from Gillian.

Knowing without a doubt that she was ready, he withdrew his finger, took his cock in his hand and placed the head at her opening. He looked up to find her looking expectantly at him, and with an excruciatingly slow pace his slid himself in her. The feeling almost took his breath away and caused Gillian to throw her head back in the bed.

After being certain she had adjusted to his size, Cal gently thrust in and out of her a few times. He then pulled out of her completely earning an exasperated huff from Gillian. Moments later he dove into her again and began thrusting with a greater pace which left her moaning in pleasure and mumbling his name. Cal found that when he thrust at a certain angle, she said his name more. He made a mental note of that and came back to it whenever he wanted to hear her voice utter his name saturated in pleasure.

He also noted that when he thrust at a certain pace, she arched her back in such a way that made her clench down around him. While it felt extraordinarily good, he needed this to last so he stayed away from that angle. He figured he could save that one for quickies down the road…

Gillian was fairly sure she hadn't had a man this good ever. It was like she had no control over her body. It was just reacting to his every touch and movement – and he knew exactly how to touch her and move. She was arching her back and saying his name, running her hands on him and breathing heavily. It was almost too much and she was getting close.

Cal began feeling himself tire from his exertion, and being so tired caused what little control he had over himself to vanish. He leaned toward her and seeing her eyes were closed he whispered on labored breathing, "Gillian."

She opened her eyes to see a look telling her he couldn't hold off anymore. He shouldn't have worried. Hearing him say her name like that would have brought her to orgasm a long time ago. As she flew over the edge she pulled him into her, and with one more thrust he joined her in flying over the edge.

After a few moments, he pulled out of her and laid on his back next to her, surveying her ceiling and trying to slow his breathing. Gillian loved this view: Cal naked and out of breath from….

_What do I call what just happened? Just sex? It didn't feel like just sex. Would he call it a shag? He said something about shagging on the couch later…I guess I'll just say we're sleeping together…_

And with that, Gillian remembered something. She rolled on her side to face him and propped her head up in her hand. When he looked at her she couldn't help but smile.

With a deep breath she asked, "Why did you stop kissing me earlier?"

Cal smiled and said, "Just wanted to make sure."

Puzzled and with furrowed-brow she inquired, "Wanted to make sure about what?"

With the smile fading from his face and seriousness creeping in he said, "I didn't want to do anything that was based in lust, that's all."

"Oh? And what was that based in?" Gillian asked, raising her chin slightly.

Maintaining the serious look on his face Cal responded, "From what I saw? Not lust. Definitely not lust."

He began scanning her face to see what she thought of his response. What she gave him was a small smile and a slight nod. She took her free hand and brushed it across his cheek as if to rid him of an imaginary object that was there before trailing her finger along his jaw, and then she repeated his words very softly.

"Definitely not lust."

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_**I'm toying around with the idea of having one more chapter after this. It could be a good stopping point, but it sort of feels unfinished to me. Thoughts?**_


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